sabrina cadini differences between bridezilla groomzilla and bridechilla groomchilla and how to work with them under pressure and under stress during the wedding planning process for professionals and planners

#WeddingPreneurs: Bridezilla / Groomzilla or Bridechilla / Groomchilla?

sabrina cadini differences between bridezilla / groomzilla or bridechilla / groomchilla and how to work with them under pressure and under stress during the wedding planning process for professionals and planners

I’m sure you heard about the term “Bridezilla” or “Groomzilla” during your career as a wedding professional. Maybe you even worked with one. We all know what that means and it’s not great news. These terms refer to those brides or grooms who have very high expectation, they get stressed out for every little detail of their wedding, and they make the life of their family members (and friends) very hard. Not to mention our life! You see them screaming, losing control, and just being unhappy during their wedding because they can’t stop obsessing over every single detail.

You probably started noticing a new trend which is the “Bridechilla” or “Groomchilla”. Who are they? Exactly what the word says: brides and grooms who are very relaxed, cool, very chill, laid-back, and they don’t have any unrealistic expectations. Actually, they sometimes have none!
Sounds like a dream? It sure does but, for us wedding professionals it’s not the best thing. Why? Because you don’t know how to make them happy! What do they like? What don’t they like? How can you provide stellar service if you don’t know what their vision is? It’s their wedding, not yours! You shouldn’t make decisions for them. A wedding is a very personalized celebration and as such you should treat it, it should not be what you like.
This behavior will also cause frustration among the wedding party because they won’t know which direction to take, there won’t be instructions on how to run the day, there might be no specific requests for the attire, there is no plan most of the times. Whatever happens will be OK and they just let it go.

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After hearing about bridechillas / groomchillas’ behaviors, would you rather have a bridezilla / groomzilla? Of course not.
So, which one do you think I work with on a regular basis? Bridezilla / Groomzilla or Bridechilla / Groomchilla? Neither, I don’t have these clients. And do you know why? Because I know what goes on in their minds, in their life, in their relationships. Many wedding professionals completely misunderstand them and they don’t really know how to handle them. But when you put yourself in their shoes you realize how easy it is. They need our help. They need our assistance. I help my couples create a memorable experience thanks to my expertise, reliability, calm, creative and firm guidance. And you can do the same.
When people hear what I do (wedding design and planning), they immediately ask me: “Do you work with a lot of bridezillas? You know, the ones you see on TV…” And I tell them: “First of all, those TV shows are not always real, they create drama just for better ratings. With good planning comes a flawless wedding, and that’s what my clients get with me.” I silence them!

So, let me explain what this means and let’s take a look at the two types: the “zillas” and the “chillas”


These brides and grooms are under a lot of pressure during the planning. The pressure can come from family, friends, wedding party, social status (they want / need to impress their guests), lack of time (they work full time and they become nervous because they don’t have the time to make important decisions), sometimes even lack of confidence. They have to spend an enormous amount of money for their important day and that can cause stress. They also face never-ending choices, too many I should say, between Pinterest and blogs and social media… They find themselves looking at these incredible weddings and they start getting these unrealistic expectations of perfection but maybe they don’t have the money to make it happen. They simply lose control.


This new “generation” of brides and grooms experiences the same pressure during the planning, but the results are totally opposite. They don’t want to fight for the wedding, they don’t want to waste time to make decisions, they just want to treat their wedding day as a fun, relaxed party with their families and friends, and they don’t feel the importance of making it such a big deal. It’s not worth the time (and the money) spent working on colors, details, linens, timelines, checklists, etc. They refuse to make choices because they are not that important.
Reasons to be a “chilla” could be:

  • Age (as you know, couples get married a little later in life nowadays) and some details have less importance, they’re more interested in their career rather than in ceremony arrangements, for instance
  • Economy (their goal is to save for a house or a new family rather than wasting their savings for 8-10 hours of fun celebrating their union. It just doesn’t make sense to them)

So, how do you help them just be brides and grooms without those labels?
My suggestion is very simple: Plan with them, take them by the hand, guide them, assure them that their wedding will be in great hands with your team, show solutions to them, assist them and support them with their choices, bring your expertise to the table, educate them on the process of planning a wedding and be there throughout the process. Resolve family issues, smile more than you’d like. You are their guide, you are their lighthouse, and their stress level will decrease because they know they can count on you.

Next time you meet with a potential bridezilla / groomzilla or a bridechilla / groomchilla, make sure you show them that you will make their day absolutely unforgettable and they will be able to enjoy every single moment of it. Doing this you will prevent them from becoming one of those zillas or chillas!

~~~ LEAVE A COMMENT ~~~ Do you have a zilla or chilla story to share with us?

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This blog post is part of the WeddingPreneurs Lounge, a weekly Periscope broadcast every Wednesday at 11:30am PT – Follow me there and ask me questions live!

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